Branded

BRANDED: Fat Will Be the New Fabulous

Branded (2012) – Directed by Jamie Bradshaw and Aleksandr Dulerayn – Starring Ed Stoppard, Leelee Sobieski, Max von Sydow, Jeffrey Tambor, Ingeborga Dapkunaite, and Rachel Davies. BRANDED is a massively stupid fucking movie. When I saw the trailer for BRANDED in the theater, I laughed and said, aloud, “That is the dumbest trailer I have…

JUDGE DREDD: I Am the Law

Judge Dredd (1995) – Directed by Danny Cannon – Starring Sylvester Stallone, Armand Assante, Diane Lane, Rob Schneider, Joan Chen, Jürgen Prochnow, and Max von Sydow. There are some movies that just aren’t worth talking much about, and JUDGE DREDD is one of them. Whatever it was that was paid for the rights to translate…

FLASH GORDON: Quarterback, New York Jets

Flash Gordon (1980) – Directed by Mike Hodges – Starring Sam J. Jones, Melody Anderson, Chaim Topol, Brian Blessed, Timothy Dalton, Ornella Muti, and Max Von Sydow. After a long, absurd day there are few options better to toss into your Blu-ray player than Mike Hodges’ FLASH GORDON. I say this because after having not…