THE LONE RANGER: Something Very Wrong with That Horse

The Lone Ranger (2013) – Directed by Gore Verbinski – Starring Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer, Tom Wilkinson, William Fichtner, Barry Pepper, Ruth Wilson, James Badge Dale, Helena Bonham Carter, Mason Cook, Saginaw Grant, and Stephen Grant. If you’re new here, be aware that SPOILERS LIE BEYOND THIS POINT. I’m liable to talk about anything and…

21 JUMP STREET: Embrace Your Stereotypes

21 Jump Street (2012) – Directed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller – Starring Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Brie Larson, Dave Franco, Ellie Kemper, Rob Riggle, Ice Cube, Nick Offerman, Peter DeLuise, Holly Robinson Peete, and Johnny Depp. There’s a lot going against 21 JUMP STREET – it stars Jonah Hill (who I honestly think…

DARK SHADOWS: You’ll Have to Imagine Us On a Better Day

Dark Shadows (2012) – Directed by Tim Burton – Starring Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Eva Green, Jackie Earle Haley, Jonny Lee Miller, Chloë Grace Moretz, Bella Heathcote, Christopher Lee, and Alice Cooper. “These people might be freaks and weirdos, but don’t freak and weirdos deserve to be happy, too?” That quote does…

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END: All Men Are Drawn to the Sea, Perilous Though it May Be

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007) – Directed by Gore Verbinski – Starring Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Stellan Skarsgård, Bill Nighy, Tom Hollander, Chow Yun-fat, Geoffrey Rush, Jack Davenport, Naomie Harris, Kevin McNally, David Schofield, Jonathan Pryce, Mackenzie Crook, Lee Arenberg, and Keith Richards. If you want to argue that PIRATES…

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST: I’m Afraid Currency is the Currency of the Realm

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006) – Directed by Gore Verbinski – Starring Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Bill Nighy, Stellan Skarsgård, Naomie Harris, Jack Davenport, Kevin McNally, Tom Hollander, Lee Arenberg, Mackenzie Cook, Jonathan Pryce, and Geoffrey Rush. I find that PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST ages very well.…

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL: You Best Start Believing in Ghost Stores, Miss Turner, You’re in One

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) – Directed by Gore Verbinski – Starring Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jonathan Pryce, Jack Davenport, Kevin McNally, Lee Arenberg, Mackenzie Crook, and Zoe Saldana. There is a very small scene deep in PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE…

ALICE IN WONDERLAND: Alice Among the Assh*les

Alice in Wonderland (2010) – Directed by Tim Burton – Starring Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Crispin Glover, Matt Lucas, and Anne Hathaway; Featuring the Voices of Stephen Fry, Alan Rickman, Michael Sheen, Barbara Windsor, Timothy Spall, and Christopher Lee. Every movie has a message, whether it wants to have one or not.…