DARK SHADOWS: You’ll Have to Imagine Us On a Better Day

Dark Shadows (2012) – Directed by Tim Burton – Starring Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Eva Green, Jackie Earle Haley, Jonny Lee Miller, Chloë Grace Moretz, Bella Heathcote, Christopher Lee, and Alice Cooper. “These people might be freaks and weirdos, but don’t freak and weirdos deserve to be happy, too?” That quote does…

STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS: This is the Movie That Looks Like the TV Show But Not the TV Show That the Samurai Jack Guy Did

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) – Directed by Dave Filoni – Starring Matt Lanter, James Arnold Taylor, Ashley Eckstein, Tom Kane, Dee Bradley Baker, Christopher Lee, Samuel L. Jackson, and Anthony Daniels. STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS gets a lot of heat from people, but I can appreciate it. Yeah, it’s an action-centric excuse…

SEASON OF THE WITCH: Why?

Season of the Witch (2011) – Directed by Dominic Sena – Starring Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman, Claire Foy, Stephen Campbell Moore, Robert Sheehan, Ulrich Thomsen, Stephen Graham, and Christopher Lee. SEASON OF THE WITCH is the kind of movie that’s neither awful enough to just stop watching, nor good enough to ever be average. It’s…

ALICE IN WONDERLAND: Alice Among the Assh*les

Alice in Wonderland (2010) – Directed by Tim Burton – Starring Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Crispin Glover, Matt Lucas, and Anne Hathaway; Featuring the Voices of Stephen Fry, Alan Rickman, Michael Sheen, Barbara Windsor, Timothy Spall, and Christopher Lee. Every movie has a message, whether it wants to have one or not.…