A Million Ways to Die in the West

A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST: People Die at the Fair

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014) – Directed by Seth MacFarlane – Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Neil Patrick Harris, Liam Neeson, Giovanni Ribisi, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman, Wes Studi, Alex Borstein, Evan Jones, Gilbert Gottfried, Dennis Haskins, Christopher Lloyd, Bill Maher, Ewan McGregor, Jamie Foxx, Ryan Reynolds, and Patrick Stewart. Whither,…

THE LONE RANGER: Something Very Wrong with That Horse

The Lone Ranger (2013) – Directed by Gore Verbinski – Starring Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer, Tom Wilkinson, William Fichtner, Barry Pepper, Ruth Wilson, James Badge Dale, Helena Bonham Carter, Mason Cook, Saginaw Grant, and Stephen Grant. If you’re new here, be aware that SPOILERS LIE BEYOND THIS POINT. I’m liable to talk about anything and…

4 for Texas: I Also Gave Zack Thomas the Come Along

4 for Texas (1963) – Directed by Robert Aldritch – Starring Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Anita Ekberg, Ursula Andress, Charles Bronson, Victor Bruono, Edric Connor, Nick Dennis, and the Three Stooges. 4 FOR TEXAS is a dreary comedy that suffers, most of all, from both not giving us what we want (Frank and Dean together)…

WILD BILL: He Lacked a Hero’s Calm and a Coward’s Resolve

Wild Bill (1995) – Directed by Walter Hill – Starring Jeff Bridges, Ellen Barkin, John Hurt, David Arquette, James Gammon, Bruce Dern, James Remar, Christina Applegate, and Diane Lane. WILD BILL should work – great subject, great cast, great director – but it’s a dull, over-indulgent film that makes you far too aware that you’re…

LONE WOLF MCQUADE: How’d You Like to Bite That in the Butt, Develop Lockjaw, and Be Dragged to Death?

Lone Wolf McQuade (1983) – Directed by Steve Carver – Starring Chuck Norris, David Carradine, Robert Beltran, Barbara Carrera, Leon Isaac Kennedy, L.Q. Jones, and William Sanderson. Even though I’m reviewing LONE WOLF MCQUADE as part of Western Month, it’s not a Western in the classical sense. Instead, MCQUADE is a contemporary Western-slash-martial arts-movie-slash-standard-’80s-action movie.…

SILVERADO: I Got There Just Short of Too Late

Silverado (1985) – Directed by Lawrence Kasdan – Starring Kevin Kline, Scott Glenn, Danny Glover, Kevin Costner, Brian Dennehy, Linda Hunt, Jeff Goldblum, Rosanna Arquette, John Cleese, Ray Baker, Lynn Whitfield, and Jeff Fahey. Lawrence Kasdan’s SILVERADO is determined to be both a classic Western and a non-traditional Western. The film contains plenty of gun…

THE WILD BUNCH: Egg-Sucking, Chicken-Stealing Gutter Trash

The Wild Bunch (1969) – Directed by Sam Peckinpah – Starring William Holden, Ernest Borgnine, Robert Ryan, Warren Oates, Ben Johnson, Edmond O’Brien, Jaime Sánchez, and Strother Martin. Do you live life for yourself or for others? That question lies at the heart of Sam Peckinpah’s THE WILD BUNCH, a fantastically violent movie about masculine…

THE PROFESSIONALS: Amigo, We’ve Been Had

The Professionals (1966) – Directed by Richard Brooks – Starring Burt Lancaster, Lee Marvin, Robert Ryan, Woody Strode, Claudia Cardinale, Jack Palance, and Ralph Bellamy. THE PROFESSIONALS is a damn good movie. Made in 1966, you could slot THE PROFESSIONALS into rotation at the local multiplex and it would fit right in; this is an…

CITY SLICKERS: I Like Your Ass. Can I Wear It as a Hat?

City Slickers (1991) – Directed by Ron Underwood – Starring Billy Crystal, Jack Palance, Daniel Stern, Bruno Kirby, Patricia Wettig, Helen Slater, Bill Henderson, Phill Lewis, Josh Mostel, David Paymer, Jeffrey Tambor, and Jake Gyllenhaal. I love CITY SLICKERS. It is by no means a perfect movie. It still astounds me 20 years after its…

DJANGO: I’ll Be Waiting at the Cemetery

Django (1966) – Directed by Sergio Corbucci – Starring Franco Nero, Loredana Nusciak, Eduardo Fajardo, José Bódalo, and Angel Alvarez. For those who want their Western hero to be quiet, mysterious, and deadly, DJANGO fits the bill as a somber, violent, revenge flick whose protagonist is really good with a gun and really average with…

HANNIE CAULDER: There Aren’t Any Hard Women … Only Soft Men

Hannie Caulder (1971) – Directed by Burt Kennedy – Starring Raquel Welch, Robert Culp, Ernest Borgnine, Jack Elam, Strother Martin, Christopher Lee, and Stephen Boyd. We’re kicking off Western Month here at the Anxiety with a look at the surprisingly engaging HANNIE CAULDER, an early ’70s, slightly feminist western that succeeds largely because of the…