Her Poster

HER: I’m Choking You with a Dead Cat

Her (2013) – Directed by Spike Jonze – Starring Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams, Rooney Mara, Olivia Wilde, Chris Pratt, and Scarlett Johansson. In the future, all decent men will wear horrible mustaches. Spike Jonze’s science fiction romance between a man and his new operating system is less an actual romance as it is a striking…

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TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION: Honor to the End

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014) – Directed by Michael Bay – Starring Peter Cullen, Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Titus Welliver, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor, Sophia Myles, Li Bingbing, T.J. Miller, John Goodman, John DiMaggio, Ken Watanabe, Reno Wilson, Mark Ryan, and Frank Welker. I have a saying that I like to use when…

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TRANSFORMERS: Freedom is the Light of All Sentient Beings

Transformers (2007) – Directed by Michael Bay – Starring Peter Cullen, Mark Ryan, Hugo Weaving, Shia LaBeouf, Tyrese Gibson, Josh Duhamel, Anthony Anderson, Megan Fox, Rachael Taylor, John Turturro, Jon Voight, Michael O’Neill, Kevin Dunn, Julie White, Bernie Mac, Charlie Adler, and W. Morgan Sheppard. Such is the nature of writing reviews that sometimes you…

The World's End

THE WORLD’S END: Drink Up. Let’s Boo-Boo.

The World’s End (2013) – Directed by Edgar Wright – Starring Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Paddy Considine, Martin Freeman, Pierce Brosnan, Eddie Marsan, Rosamund Pike, and Bill Nighy. The third and final film in the Cornetto Trilogy from Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost is both the best and worst of the three films.…

Edge of Tomorrow Widescreen

EDGE OF TOMORROW: Full Metal Bitch

Edge of Tomorrow (2014) – Directed by Doug Liman – Starring Tom Cruise, Emily Blunt, Bill Paxton, Brendan Gleeson, Kick Gurry, Dragomir Mrsic, Charlotte Riley, Jonas Armstrong, Franz Drameh, and Noah Taylor. Tom Cruise still believes in movie stars. Have movie stars ever mattered less than they do in the 2010s? The list of the…

Free Birds Poster

FREE BIRDS: The Pardoned Turkey

Free Birds (2013) – Directed by Jimmy Hayward – Starring Owen Wilson, Woody Harrelson, Amy Poehler, Dan Fogler, George Takei, Colm Meaney, Keith David, and Dwight Howard. Man, there are times when I’m watching a movie and am hit straight in the face with the fact that I’m kind of an asshole. FREE BIRDS is…

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GODZILLA: King of Monsters

Godzilla (2014) – Directed by Gareth Edwards – Starring Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Ken Watanabe, Elizabeth Olsen, Juliette Binoche, Sally Hawkins, David Strathairn, and Bryan Cranston. If you’re new here – spoilers lie beyond this point. This is not a review that is going to try to convince you to go see or not see GODZILLA. I…

Maximum Overdrive Green Goblin

MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE: We Made You

Maximum Overdrive (1986) – Directed by Stephen King – Starring Emilio Estevez, Pat Hingle, Laura Harrington, Yeardley Smith, Frankie Faison, Leon Rippy, John Short, Holter Graham, Ellen McElduff, Giancarlo Esposito, Marla Maples, and Stephen King. Everything about MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE is awesome. I know Stephen King has said that he was “coked out of his mind”…

After Earth Quad Poster

AFTER EARTH: Fear is a Choice

After Earth (2013) – Directed by M. Night Shyamalan – Starring Jaden Smith, Will Smith, Sophie Okonedo, and Zoë Kravitz. I do not hate AFTER EARTH so much as I am forced to acknowledge its existence. It is a curious movie and it is not a good movie and, at times, it is an embarrassing…

Elysium

ELYSIUM: The Hippo Wants a Friend

Elysium (2013) – Directed by Neill Blomkamp – Starring Matt Damon, Jodie Foster, Sharlto Copley, Alice Braga, Diego Luna, Wagner Moura, Emma Tremblay, Faran Tahir, and William Fichtner. I skipped ELYSIUM when it was in the theaters because what I was hearing from all of my friends was that it was a disappointment. Watching it…